Tag: #Faith

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Here to Testify

The other day I was reminded of something that God did for me many years ago . . . But before I tell you what He did, let me give you some context.

There was a time in my life when I was in and out of the doctor’s over seemingly regular symptoms. The symptoms got worse in my thirties, and I eventually discovered I had an autoimmune disease. I didn’t think much of it because I figured I could manage it by avoiding certain foods. What I didn’t know is that the “thing” poisoning my body was found in almost every food, and extremely difficult to avoid. 

A few days after my 39th birthday, I got much sicker than usual, and drove to the emergency room at night. I told the doctors about the autoimmune condition but they didn’t know much about it. It’s one of those diseases that is generally uncommon here in Africa. I was given a one-month prescription to address the symptoms, and I began the treatment immediately. On the second day, I started to get worse. A bit of research led me to discover that the “thing” poisoning my body was an ingredient in the prescribed medicine. I made this discovery on a Saturday night. I was completely baffled about what to do!

The following day—Sunday—I woke up feeling worse than before I went to hospital. As I prayed that morning, I told God that this disease was going to kill me. Then I went on to tell Him that despite how I was feeling, I would drag myself to church expecting that He would turn the Sunday service into a healing service. 

I got to church and in the middle of the service, the Senior Pastor (who wasn’t leading the service that day) got up and said, ” I hear God say that today is a healing day. If you have an incurable disease, please stand up.” I still remember his exact words! At first I wasn’t sure I had heard the right thing so I stayed seated. He repeated it and this time I stood up. Two other people in the congregation also responded.

He told the people seating next to us to lay their hands on us. Adding that God would use their hands to heal. The Senior Pastor said a prayer and we sat down. As the service went on, I heard a gentle voice say that I shouldn’t take my medicine any more. I went home and didn’t tell anyone what had happened. But I stopped taking the medicine.

A couple of months later I told God that I would start eating the food that poisoned me before. And I added that this would be a test of whether the condition was really gone. (Where was my faith?) After months of testing, I found that those things did not trouble my body any more. That was over ten years ago.

If I did not have a friendship with Jesus in which I was free to boldly ask for healing, I would either be long dead or spending a majority of my time and money in hospital. But because of God’s mercy and grace towards me, I am here today to testify!

To God be the glory!




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City On a Hill

A few years ago I got to go on a tour of the Holy Land. The trip unexpectedly came together at the very last minute, long after I had given up all hope of joining that particular tour. As I write this I am reminded how God often works things out at the eleventh hour! If you’re a Kenyan, then you know how we are a nation of “last-minuters”— it must be the one character trait of God that we bear collectively!

Then, yesterday my bible reading took me to a verse that always reminds me of this tour . . . 

As our bus made its descent into Jerusalem, a cluster of houses suddenly jumped out at me. There was nothing fancy about their architecture—they were entirely ordinary—yet something made them stand out.

The houses were extremely conspicuous. Impossible to miss! 

You probably can’t tell from this blurry photo taken from a moving bus . . . but the houses were perched right on the side of a hill.  And the moment I saw them, a specific verse instantly popped into my mind: 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14 NIV

And I instantly knew that the Holy Spirit was telling me that as a follower of Jesus, my life should be so different that I stand out wherever I am. Not in a snobbish, judgmental kind of way. But in an “I do things differently” kind of way. 

For instance, when there is heavy traffic—one of my absolute pet peeves—do I stay in my lane, or do I overlap like everyone else? When a friend or family member confides that money is tight, do I just offer a sympathetic “it’ll be okay,” or do I actually share what I have? When a conversation takes a turn down the “juicy gossip” route, do I jump in and contribute or stay silent?  And when someone trusts me with a prayer request do I repeat it under the guise of “sharing the burden” or do I keep the matter strictly between the Lord and me? 

Very often we associate being different with the more obvious things such as our dressing, how much we indulge in alcohol, whether we are keeping our bodies pure. But it goes much deeper than this. My everyday choices should continually reflect that I am different because I allow the Holy Spirit to guide my words and actions. 

 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 
Galatians 5:16—17 NIV

Lord, help us to be like a city on a hill! 

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Free Those Arrows

Recently, I’ve taken to playing a game on my phone. The game is a puzzle of sorts, and the goal is to find a path to get arrows to fly off the board without colliding into each other. It sounds like a straightforward task, but it is far from that. You see, the individual arrows face different directions and block each other. You have to find the right sequence to free the arrows so they exit the board one at a time. And, the right path to an arrow’s freedom isn’t always obvious. 

Games are not really my thing, but I do find that I particularly enjoy this one. Perhaps that’s because I can relate to being in a difficult situation and desperately wanting to be set free . . . 

The other day, though, I discovered something as I played . . . 

To identify a clear path to each arrow’s freedom, it helps to zoom in. As I zoom in, it becomes crystal clear whether there is a path to freedom or not. Which of-course makes it easier to find the right sequence to free the arrows. At the same time, however, zooming in takes my eyes off the entire puzzle so I may find what seems to be an immediately clear path, but be missing out on an obstacle in a different part of the puzzle. So a few times I’ve found myself thinking “this” is the right path for a particular arrow, only to find that there’s a blockage elsewhere.  And I’m forced to zoom out, look at the entire puzzle, zoom in again, then keep going.

And it struck me that navigating through life is rather similar. I need to be constantly zooming in and out to find “the path.” But unlike in the puzzle where zooming out gives me a full view, with life, I never have the entire picture of what’s going on. Only God has complete sight of all situations. Which means I am continually faced with two choices: to figure out “the path” on my own, or to constantly depend on God to navigate me. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV

Needless to say that one of these choices comes with fewer obstacles than the other! 

Let’s make the right choice—one day at a time—to invite God to navigate us through the day. Whether we are in a difficult or joyful season. It’s the only strategy to successfully “free those arrows!” 

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Not Around the Corner

The last time I was on these streets, I said it felt like the end of the season might be around the corner. I was both right and wrong! And I’m glad I added the disclaimer that whether right or wrong, I was trusting God to give me the courage and faith to be more like Jesus (I had forgotten this part though). 

If you haven’t already guessed, what seemed to be around the corner is taking much longer than anticipated. In that sense, I was wrong. However, I was at the same time right because the season did somewhat shift. 
How so? I hear you ask . . . 

I can only describe the shift as an adjustment in training intensity. You know like going from beginner to intermediate level. If I thought God was working in me before October, what He has been doing since then makes the earlier lessons seem like child’s play. And who can blame Him? I did, after all, invite Him to give me faith and courage to be more like Jesus! 

What I know now, that I did not know then, is that you cannot become more like Jesus unless you are aware how far you are from him, and what needs to change. Has the Lord ever put a mirror to your heart to show you what’s there? That’s what He did with me, and I can tell you what I saw was far from pretty. 

Rebellion, selfishness, pride (this one in particular caught me totally off guard!) . . . such things. Characteristics that I would not have thought applied to me. But, He has been so gracious in this new level of training. He didn’t show me everything at once. We’ve been going gradually. Like you would in a school curriculum. 

Have I mastered the lessons? Certainly not! Can I master them? Possibly not. What’s possible, though, is to day-by-day increase my dependence on God. Becoming like a newborn; utterly dependent on God for every decision, choice, action . . .  constantly inviting Him to weigh my motives for me.  

“'My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.' Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” 
Hebrews 12:5—8 NIV

Am I enjoying the training? Certainly not! But, I can wait for what God promises as the end result: 

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” 
Hebrews 12:11 NIV
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Every. Day.

Hello! It’s been quite a while since I was on these streets. How have you been?

I have had a lot going on with me and around me.

Please share, I hear you say! Okay, okay, here goes . . . 

I’ll start with what has been going on around me. And by around me I mean mostly not in my heart or mind.

My father retired. Rather, he was unwillingly retired because he had hit the mandatory retirement age. And with that came depression. He had gone from being a workaholic to waking up and having nowhere to go, and nothing to do. Then the depression turned into memory lapses, and rapidly deteriorated into dementia. So my siblings and I moved him so he could live closer to us. Being the only one who can be easily uprooted, I moved into the new flat with him (thanks to having no family of my own! I never thought that the day would come when that was an advantage. Ha!).

Meanwhile, as I prayed concerning my father, I so clearly sensed the Lord say that my dad’s issue wasn’t dementia but sadness/depression. And prior to retirement or dad’s issues manifesting, I had received a vision of my dad speaking at a church. Now — my dad is opposed to all things religion or God . . . and even more opposed to the fake “born-again types” (how he refers to us believers!). So to see him in church, speaking, was to me absolute confirmation that the day would come when he would say yes to Jesus. And when the dementia symptoms started to show up, it was an indication to me that the symptoms would be reversed because to accept Jesus, he would need to have a sound mind. 

Yet, knowing all this, it’s been really difficult handling the symptoms. I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster since day 1 of moving in with him. Every day I wake up hoping that today is the day I see dad restored, and as at last evening, that day hadn’t come. (I will add yet because I am certain the day will come!)  

Every morning as I wonder how I will handle the day’s disappointment if there is no change in dad, I am discovering that the Lord is faithful even when He seems to be far off. Every day He has given me a word or a song that keeps me going for the day. 

The song that is on repeat in my mind currently is the great old hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness!” If you’ve read The Forgotten Day, you know how I love those old-time hymns. 

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

The part that’s really struck a chord with me this week is “morning by morning new mercies I see.” Which of course is taken from:

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
For his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22–23 NIV

Nobody warns you of the challenges that come with caring for an ailing/ageing parent, or the valleys that one must go through before God’s promise is fulfilled. Not even reading about Joseph & his prison adventures is preparation enough! . . . But this one thing is for sure — God is faithful and He supplies the comfort, mercy, encouragement, peace, or grace that you need for that day. Because He alone knows where your heart is at, or what the day will bring. So when you find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster, that’s the time to cling to Him even more.

Every. Day.

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Blameless!

Today I’d like to write about a matter that’s very dear to my heart. 

If you’ve read this post, you’ll know that somewhere in my past, I cancelled a wedding. My wedding, that is! What you don’t know is that I haven’t dated anyone since. Initially I was so excited about the Lord saving me from getting into a marriage that would cause me grief, that I didn’t care about dating again. I was happy to wait for the Lord to bring the right guy, at the right time. Then the years turned into a decade, and I began to despair.  If you’re African, you know the value that our society places on having children and keeping the family name going. You might even have an aunty (or more!) who talk to you incessantly about having children!

Well … now that I’m getting closer to 50, nobody asks about children any more. To them, it’s too late, so they don’t bother! Which, when I think about it, is good since I despair enough on my own and certainly have no need for external sources of despair on the matter. But what comes along with the despair that many are unaware of, is the shame of being single and childless at this age. Our society can be harsh and unforgiving toward people in my situation. If I were to measure the weight of the shame I (and others) carry, it would break the scale. 

With the shame comes questions ranging from “what’s wrong with me that I’m single and childless?” to “what sin is God punishing me for?” Once in a while, the question “am I under a generational curse?” also pops up. 

On the flip side, I ask myself … if the Lord were to give me children now, would I have the energy to raise them? Wouldn’t having children at this age bring more shame because I’m having children when my peers are having grandchildren? As you can see, the word “shame” appears a lot. I suppose that’s part of our African context and culture. 

But recently I was reading the Bible and saw something that I’d not noticed before: 

“In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron.  Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly.  But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old  
Luke 1:5—7 (NIV)

Did you see it? Elizabeth and Zechariah were old, and childless, but blameless in God’s sight! For me, that totally nullified the “what sin is God punishing me for?” or “generational curses” questions. These verses have provided great comfort and encouragement since! 

I still have days when I wish my life was different in regard to having a husband and children, but then I also know that to follow Jesus means that like Him, I have to be willing to carry my cross. And if this — keeping my body pure — is the cross I have to carry as I follow Jesus, then so be it! 

So to all the single ladies out there who are staying pure for Jesus’s sake, may God give you the strength and joy to keep going. To all the married ladies who are staying faithful to their husbands by not having a child with another man and passing this child off as his, may God richly bless you! Lastly, to all the husbands, who like Zechariah remain committed to their wives despite having no children, may God show Himself faithful and hear your prayers! 

No matter what your situation, stay close to Jesus because in Him you are blameless!

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New Actions

This is part three of a previous post. Catch up with part 1 and part 2 before you dive into this.

Knowing that the Lord was waiting on me, I decided to take action and do two things differently. 

First, rather than pray “please end this and take me back home,” I will instead ask for strength to go through the challenge. 

Second, I will spend 30min every morning praying and meditating on Ephesians 3:16, asking for His strength. My desire is that the Lord would strengthen me with power so Jesus will dwell firmly in my heart, and so I will know with all my heart that God loves me. 

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

Ephesians 3:16-18 (NIV)

Then, when I am confident in God’s love for me, and in no doubt that He has my back no matter what, I can stop being like a pendulum. I can be relaxed like Jesus was when He slept through the stormy boat ride. 

The strength and power I need can only come from the Holy Spirit. I cannot ‘empower’ myself. So, in my 30minutes I am expectant that as I silently sit with the Lord, He will strengthen me. 

Today marks day one of these two new actions and I’m excitedly looking forward to the new thing the Lord does in me, and through me.

Pray for me, won’t you? Or, if like me you need new strength, please join me in taking these new actions!  

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Through, Not Around


This is part two of the previous post. If you haven’t already read it, please start here.

Another thing going on is that being here has got my emotions all over the place because of certain challenges I face with my relative. This is despite the Lord showing me two years ago – before there was a problem – that everything would go well. Of course I did not understand the vision then, but now I do. So, I already have assurance that things will work out and end well. But I’ve found myself wavering between holding onto this hope and being overcome by doubt. Somewhat like a pendulum swinging left to right, high then low. 

Even with the faith booster from my extra Bible reading, my thoughts still venture into the realm of doubt and despair. I can’t tell you how many times I have cried out to the Lord to take me back home! Why? Because I know He already intends to heal and save this relative, and He has the power to do so in an instant. There’s no need for Him to wait to do what He is able and willing to do! 

Which is why I’ve been asking Him “what are You waiting for?” Then yesterday it clicked . . . He is waiting for me to stop being a pendulum; He is standing by until I am “strong, firm, and steadfast.” The Lord doesn’t want me to take a shortcut that avoids this situation, but rather to go through it, with Him by my side, and come out stronger. 

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast

1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

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Triple The Word

Since my last post, I have had to relocate to a different town to support a relative. What I thought would be a 2-week stay has turned into 6-weeks, with no sign of my return home in sight. In these six weeks I have learnt a few lessons I would like to share.

Initially, I thought I was here to help my relative. However, one week into my stay I discovered the Lord has me here so He can separate me from my every-day tasks. Why? So I can spend extra time with Him. I’ve sensed Him guide me into tripling the time I spend reading my Bible. Yup! You heard right . . . tripling!

And you know what’s odd . . . about six months ago a friend invited me to a Bible study that I thought covered way too many chapters per day. I told her it wasn’t possible for me to fit in that many chapters into my day and politely declined to join. Well . . . that’s exactly the number of chapters I now find myself reading! Ha! I guess you could say the Lord helped me “create” the time. Doesn’t the Lord have a great sense of humour?

While at the start it seemed like a lot of reading, I have experienced how reading the Bible has a way of increasing my faith. I can’t quite explain how, but it certainly brings to life the verse about faith coming as a result of hearing the word.

Now, if like me, you find yourself in a situation where you need to turbo charge your faith, I recommend you spend more time reading your Bible.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

Romans 10:17 (NIV)

I’m grateful for this first lesson. And praying for grace to maintain this new reading pattern in the days & years to come.

Be sure to look out for lesson two!

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On My Side

Back in the 1980s, we had a much-loved auntie who lived in a small town on the edge of the Rift Valley. To reach her on phone, we had to first dial a number that connected us to the national telephone operator, then give the operator her number, and ask to be connected to her. We could only speak to her when the operator put us through. #IYKYK

In those days, when the (fixed) house phone rang, you answered it because you didn’t know who was calling or whether they had an urgent message for you. Today, we have mobile phones which show us who is calling, so we have the option to choose to answer (or not). And we are even able to ask them to send us a text so we can gauge how urgent the call is. How far the telephone has come since the 80s!  

These days when I call a friend and she doesn’t pick up, there’s a tendency for me to wonder why she isn’t answering her phone. I quietly wonder, ‘what could she be doing?’ And that can spiral downwards really quick to ‘why is she ignoring me? Have I done something wrong?’

Sometimes this attitude spills over into my conversations with God. If it takes a while to see answers to a prayer, I wonder if I’ve done anything wrong. Or question why He is ignoring me. This is one of the areas that the Lord has been working on, in me. He’s been teaching me that He always hears when I pray, He always answers, and His presence is always with me. He is teaching me to be confident in His love for me. Because at the root of me thinking He is ignoring me, is a lack of faith that He loves me and a fear that I’m on my own.

One of the verses He has used to increase my confidence in His love is . . .

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Through this verse I’m learning to remind myself that He is always at work when I invite Him to a situation. I am learning to trust that no matter how things look, or how long it takes to see answers to my prayers, that He is with me, and He is on my side.