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Tender-loving Care 

A few days ago, I had a really bad day.  It was as though the day had conspired to serve me a healthy dose of frustration and annoyance! 

Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was exasperated. Actually, the more accurate thing to say is that I was extremely annoyed at God for allowing me to be on the receiving end of what I thought was undeserved.    

So at bedtime, I told the Lord that I could not believe He would let me have such a day, and for that reason I would not be saying my daily pre-bedtime prayer. (What irony to be talking to Him, while saying I will not pray!) It took a while to fall asleep, but I eventually did. 

Only for my sleep to disappear a couple of hours later! 

Now, I instantly knew that the Lord had woken me up so we could “discuss” the matter. But, I was still feeling let down by Him and was unwilling to discuss the day. After all, from where I stood, it was Him who had allowed so much to go south!  I told Him this was how I was feeling and that I wouldn’t be sitting up so we could have a chat. (For the record—I don’t recommend you do this!) 

Shortly after, I began to feel a soothing in my heart. The pain and anger I was feeling began to melt away. I knew what was happening because this is how the Lord responds whenever I go to Him asking Him to heal my emotions because someone has hurt me (and I don’t want to slip into resentment or bitterness).

A moment or so later, the anger and (pain of) betrayal I felt was gone. Totally lifted! 

And just like that—in the unlikeliest of situations—the Lord expressed His tender love and care towards me. What surprises me the most, however, is that He soothed my heart on a day that my anger was directed at Him, and that He did this without me asking.  

His act of tenderness has stayed with me and it brings two things to mind. First, is the description Jesus gave of our Father in heaven going in search of a lost sheep and carrying it in His arms when it is found (Luke 15:5–6). Second is the psalm that describes God’s compassion . . . 


“Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name . . . who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion . . . The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love . . . he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities . . . As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him . . . “ 
Psalm 103:4  NIV

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The Forgotten Day

We have officially got into our rainy season here, and the grey weather has crept into my life. These past couple of weeks have been turbulent for me. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say these past couple of months! Some days I feel like I’ve been tossed into a raging sea. Before I can come up for air and breathe, I find myself tossed about again. It’s been very uncomfortable! All this while trying my best not to re-join the waltz! 

I’ve observed and learnt a few things that I’d like to share . . .

The big lesson is that I must learn to watch my thoughts. Self-control doesn’t just apply to physical appetites or throwing about careless words. Self control also applies to the thoughts I allow to take up residence in my mind. I’m learning that no matter what’s going on with me, I must monitor my thoughts so that they don’t lead me down a dark rabbit hole. Some of the thoughts I must kick out include “Why me, Lord? Why is this happening to me?,” or “Why aren’t You answering my prayers, Lord?,” and any other thought that accuses God of being unkind. I’m (doing my best) to be like Job and remind myself that I should be ready to accept both good and bad from God. Hoping that somewhere down the line the turmoil will end, and I’ll see what God was working out. Like it says in Hebrews 12, God disciplines/trains those He loves through hardship, and

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” 
Hebrews 12:11 NIV

So now, when I chat with the Lord, I ask Him to show me what He is working in me and for me. I ask Him to teach me to persevere through, and not around the situation. 

This week I’ve also spent lots of time on one of my favourite ways to soothe my soul . . . listening to the great old-time hymns. I’ve found much comfort in singing along as I do my daily tasks. It has been so helpful! And led me to stumble upon an observation . . .

As I listen, I cannot help but think that we, believers in Jesus today, have lost part of the hope we have in Jesus. What do I mean? Well, a great majority of the hymns mention life with Jesus in eternity. And life with Jesus forever isn’t something that we hear taught or discussed much these days. It is almost becoming a forgotten day. Yet we are told that His return should be something we use to encourage one another . . . 

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." 
Hebrews 10:24—25 NIV

One of the graces that God has given us is the gift of knowing that our time on earth is brief, and therefore there will be an end to our suffering and troubles. We also have the promise that Jesus will come for us so we can be with Him forever. I suspect that if we reminded each other of this fact often, then we would be encouraged to persevere through seasons of discipline/hardship. We might also be discouraged from the endless pursuit and hoarding of wealth.

This has certainly been my experience this week as I listen to the hymns. The hope that I will receive a new nature that isn’t prone to sin, and be with God forever has been renewed in me. I’m hoping that as I continue to listen to the hymns, that I’ll get to the point where this hope is so alive in me that I can brush off things that would ordinarily annoy me or cause me to complain. Because I know that in comparison to eternity, these things are a meaningless “vapour.” I really would love for this to be true for me! 

"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope — the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ," 
Titus 2: 11—13 NIV

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I Can’t, But God Can!

This is part two of a previous post, which you can catch here.

Back to 1 Samuel 20 . . . Jonathan could have been content in the knowledge that he was next in line to be king, and sided with his father, King Saul, about harming David. Jonathan was after all the one set to benefit most if David was out of the way. But Jonathan chose to do what is right—he told his father that his treatment of David was unfair, and then he advised David to flee. Jonathan acted righteously! 

What came to mind at the end of this story was every-day situations that we face. For example, how many of us see our mothers mistreat our sisters-in-law and say nothing? How many of us are hesitant to warmly welcome our brother’s wife into the family? How many of us see our brothers or husbands speak hurtfully to children and say nothing? How many of us treat some children in the family better than others? Or distinguish between how we treat children from the city and those from the village? How many of us listen in silence while one friend gossips about another? Or, how many of us are unwilling to care for an ageing parent who neglected/abandoned us as children? A whole number of day-to-day situations flashed through my mind, and I confess that I have certainly not always acted righteously. There is massive room for me to change my outlook and constantly ask myself, “how would I want to be treated in this situation?” Plus learn to speak up in love and not judgement . . . 

It feels like a enormous change is required, and I know that I certainly cannot do it on my own. Which is why I am so grateful that when I confess my sin to God, He is faithful to forgive me and forget my sin (1 John 1:9). Then I can go ahead and ask Him to give me the grace to love people . . . because I acknowledge that I cannot do this in my own effort.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfil his good purpose.” 
Philippians 2:13 NIV

Isn’t it wonderful that we serve a God who gives us His Spirit to work in us so we are able to do the things He desires and asks of us? Especially so for the things that we cannot do on our own?

Thank You, Jesus! ❤️

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I Already Know This, Or Do I?

I’m doing some research and needed to understand what the word “righteous” really means. And, I wanted to get it in a way that I could explain it to a child.

It’s a word that we use rather often . . . especially if you are in the habit of reading the Bible. Perhaps, like me, you are in the habit of reminding yourself what the Bible says:

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
1 Cor 5:21 NIV

Which is why I was doing my study from an “I already know what this means” perspective. I was truly shocked to realise I knew little about what it means to be righteous. And now that I think about it, I can’t quite explain what I thought it meant before. I think it was an abstract concept in my mind—something along the lines of doing what God or the Bible says. Which in itself isn’t wrong, but extremely general in meaning. 

I dove into chapter twenty of 1 Samuel. The story of Jonathan and David coming up with a plan to verify whether King Saul really intended to kill David. And here’s what I learnt: whereas before I would have stated that Jonathan was simply a good friend, now I see that in this instance, he acted in righteousness. 

Before I tell you why I think this, let me tell you what I’ve concluded is the meaning of righteous: it is the ability to do right, or treat others right. You know like what Jesus said in the Golden Rule, “do to others as you would have them do to you . . . ” (Matthew 7:12). And, righteous actions flow out of the love inside you. The brotherly (or sisterly!) kind of love where you want what’s best for the other person. 

Can you imagine what it would be like if we, followers of Jesus, treated people right? Can you imagine how easy it would be to share the gospel? 

Lord, help us! Fill our hearts with Your love, and give us the grace to treat others how we would like to be treated.

Look out for part two . . .  

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Best Discovery Ever

Here to testify has brought back memories of my early days as a follower of Jesus. And how friendship with Jesus is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

You see, back then, I lived in my head. I was constantly worrying what people thought of me, and wondering whether they liked me. My family background made me feel unlikeable. Which made it incredibly important for me to please others and, even more so, to fit in. One of the key things I did to fit in was to become a party girl. 

In my late twenties I lost my job due to downsizing. It dawned on me then that my friends were not genuine friends, because they didn’t seek me out much when I could no longer afford to hit the clubs with them. This got me thinking that I needed new friends, and I went ahead to pen a prayer in my journal asking God for new friends. 

Not too long after, I  made a few new friends. One of them invited me to join her at a certain weekly Bible study. I’m not sure why I said yes, but I suspect it was partly because I was worried what she would think if I refused to go with her. A few months into the Bible study, I leant something I did not know about God. I discovered that being saved wasn’t about God giving us rules to follow, but about friendship with Him. A friendship that God offers as a free gift. So quietly, one evening alone in my flat, I told God that I wanted this free gift. 

Here I am about fifteen or so years later, and I love the fact that I can talk to God about anything, anytime. Which means I now spend less time worrying. Plus, I’ve learnt that God created me perfectly just as I am and I don’t need to please others to fit in. I can be myself, and because God loves me, I don’t need to be consumed by thoughts of whether people like me.

I’m certain that without this discovery and my friendship with God, I’d be a worry-wart and aimlessly seeking approval from others.  


"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." 
Ephesians 2:8—9 NIV
"I thank you because I am awesomely made,
wonderfully; your works are wonders —
I know this very well."
Psalm 139:14 CJB

Thank You, Jesus, for Your friendship! ❤️

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Here to Testify

The other day I was reminded of something that God did for me many years ago . . . But before I tell you what He did, let me give you some context.

There was a time in my life when I was in and out of the doctor’s over seemingly regular symptoms. The symptoms got worse in my thirties, and I eventually discovered I had an autoimmune disease. I didn’t think much of it because I figured I could manage it by avoiding certain foods. What I didn’t know is that the “thing” poisoning my body was found in almost every food, and extremely difficult to avoid. 

A few days after my 39th birthday, I got much sicker than usual, and drove to the emergency room at night. I told the doctors about the autoimmune condition but they didn’t know much about it. It’s one of those diseases that is generally uncommon here in Africa. I was given a one-month prescription to address the symptoms, and I began the treatment immediately. On the second day, I started to get worse. A bit of research led me to discover that the “thing” poisoning my body was an ingredient in the prescribed medicine. I made this discovery on a Saturday night. I was completely baffled about what to do!

The following day—Sunday—I woke up feeling worse than before I went to hospital. As I prayed that morning, I told God that this disease was going to kill me. Then I went on to tell Him that despite how I was feeling, I would drag myself to church expecting that He would turn the Sunday service into a healing service. 

I got to church and in the middle of the service, the Senior Pastor (who wasn’t leading the service that day) got up and said, ” I hear God say that today is a healing day. If you have an incurable disease, please stand up.” I still remember his exact words! At first I wasn’t sure I had heard the right thing so I stayed seated. He repeated it and this time I stood up. Two other people in the congregation also responded.

He told the people seating next to us to lay their hands on us. Adding that God would use their hands to heal. The Senior Pastor said a prayer and we sat down. As the service went on, I heard a gentle voice say that I shouldn’t take my medicine any more. I went home and didn’t tell anyone what had happened. But I stopped taking the medicine.

A couple of months later I told God that I would start eating the food that poisoned me before. And I added that this would be a test of whether the condition was really gone. (Where was my faith?) After months of testing, I found that those things did not trouble my body any more. That was over ten years ago.

If I did not have a friendship with Jesus in which I was free to boldly ask for healing, I would either be long dead or spending a majority of my time and money in hospital. But because of God’s mercy and grace towards me, I am here today to testify!

To God be the glory!




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City On a Hill

A few years ago I got to go on a tour of the Holy Land. The trip unexpectedly came together at the very last minute, long after I had given up all hope of joining that particular tour. As I write this I am reminded how God often works things out at the eleventh hour! If you’re a Kenyan, then you know how we are a nation of “last-minuters”— it must be the one character trait of God that we bear collectively!

Then, yesterday my bible reading took me to a verse that always reminds me of this tour . . . 

As our bus made its descent into Jerusalem, a cluster of houses suddenly jumped out at me. There was nothing fancy about their architecture—they were entirely ordinary—yet something made them stand out.

The houses were extremely conspicuous. Impossible to miss! 

You probably can’t tell from this blurry photo taken from a moving bus . . . but the houses were perched right on the side of a hill.  And the moment I saw them, a specific verse instantly popped into my mind: 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14 NIV

And I instantly knew that the Holy Spirit was telling me that as a follower of Jesus, my life should be so different that I stand out wherever I am. Not in a snobbish, judgmental kind of way. But in an “I do things differently” kind of way. 

For instance, when there is heavy traffic—one of my absolute pet peeves—do I stay in my lane, or do I overlap like everyone else? When a friend or family member confides that money is tight, do I just offer a sympathetic “it’ll be okay,” or do I actually share what I have? When a conversation takes a turn down the “juicy gossip” route, do I jump in and contribute or stay silent?  And when someone trusts me with a prayer request do I repeat it under the guise of “sharing the burden” or do I keep the matter strictly between the Lord and me? 

Very often we associate being different with the more obvious things such as our dressing, how much we indulge in alcohol, whether we are keeping our bodies pure. But it goes much deeper than this. My everyday choices should continually reflect that I am different because I allow the Holy Spirit to guide my words and actions. 

 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 
Galatians 5:16—17 NIV

Lord, help us to be like a city on a hill! 

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Free Those Arrows

Recently, I’ve taken to playing a game on my phone. The game is a puzzle of sorts, and the goal is to find a path to get arrows to fly off the board without colliding into each other. It sounds like a straightforward task, but it is far from that. You see, the individual arrows face different directions and block each other. You have to find the right sequence to free the arrows so they exit the board one at a time. And, the right path to an arrow’s freedom isn’t always obvious. 

Games are not really my thing, but I do find that I particularly enjoy this one. Perhaps that’s because I can relate to being in a difficult situation and desperately wanting to be set free . . . 

The other day, though, I discovered something as I played . . . 

To identify a clear path to each arrow’s freedom, it helps to zoom in. As I zoom in, it becomes crystal clear whether there is a path to freedom or not. Which of-course makes it easier to find the right sequence to free the arrows. At the same time, however, zooming in takes my eyes off the entire puzzle so I may find what seems to be an immediately clear path, but be missing out on an obstacle in a different part of the puzzle. So a few times I’ve found myself thinking “this” is the right path for a particular arrow, only to find that there’s a blockage elsewhere.  And I’m forced to zoom out, look at the entire puzzle, zoom in again, then keep going.

And it struck me that navigating through life is rather similar. I need to be constantly zooming in and out to find “the path.” But unlike in the puzzle where zooming out gives me a full view, with life, I never have the entire picture of what’s going on. Only God has complete sight of all situations. Which means I am continually faced with two choices: to figure out “the path” on my own, or to constantly depend on God to navigate me. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV

Needless to say that one of these choices comes with fewer obstacles than the other! 

Let’s make the right choice—one day at a time—to invite God to navigate us through the day. Whether we are in a difficult or joyful season. It’s the only strategy to successfully “free those arrows!” 

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Not Around the Corner

The last time I was on these streets, I said it felt like the end of the season might be around the corner. I was both right and wrong! And I’m glad I added the disclaimer that whether right or wrong, I was trusting God to give me the courage and faith to be more like Jesus (I had forgotten this part though). 

If you haven’t already guessed, what seemed to be around the corner is taking much longer than anticipated. In that sense, I was wrong. However, I was at the same time right because the season did somewhat shift. 
How so? I hear you ask . . . 

I can only describe the shift as an adjustment in training intensity. You know like going from beginner to intermediate level. If I thought God was working in me before October, what He has been doing since then makes the earlier lessons seem like child’s play. And who can blame Him? I did, after all, invite Him to give me faith and courage to be more like Jesus! 

What I know now, that I did not know then, is that you cannot become more like Jesus unless you are aware how far you are from him, and what needs to change. Has the Lord ever put a mirror to your heart to show you what’s there? That’s what He did with me, and I can tell you what I saw was far from pretty. 

Rebellion, selfishness, pride (this one in particular caught me totally off guard!) . . . such things. Characteristics that I would not have thought applied to me. But, He has been so gracious in this new level of training. He didn’t show me everything at once. We’ve been going gradually. Like you would in a school curriculum. 

Have I mastered the lessons? Certainly not! Can I master them? Possibly not. What’s possible, though, is to day-by-day increase my dependence on God. Becoming like a newborn; utterly dependent on God for every decision, choice, action . . .  constantly inviting Him to weigh my motives for me.  

“'My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.' Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.” 
Hebrews 12:5—8 NIV

Am I enjoying the training? Certainly not! But, I can wait for what God promises as the end result: 

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” 
Hebrews 12:11 NIV
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Boot Camp

As I navigate this season of caring for a sick parent, waiting while holding onto God’s promise of healing, I am learning that this chapter isn’t so much about the “soon-going-to-be-well” parent, but about God working in me. 

One of the things He has been working in me is the capacity for compassion at a much deeper level. When I encounter someone with a loved one who is unwell, or a person who themselves is unwell, I am filled with a deep-seated concern for their wellbeing and a desire to do something to help. That’s because I can relate to the anguish caused by caring for a sick loved one. Most often it is a brief prayer together, a call, or message to say I’m thinking of them. I find I can now empathise on a whole new scale. 

I’m aware that this is the Holy Spirit at work in me – softening my heart – so He can use me. A spiritual boot camp of sorts.

Many things about Jesus are hitting home in a new way. Here are a couple: 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” 
Hebrews 4:15 NIV
“For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” 
Hebrews 2:17 NIV

Jesus came to live among us so that He could experience life as we do, and in this way be perfectly able to represent us and intercede for us before the Father. 

Now, before you go thinking that I’m anything like Jesus . . . I have not gained this increased capacity for compassion and empathy out of choice. The Lord has taken me through this season with me often kicking and screaming. I’ve been a reluctant student for the most part. But Jesus took on humanity willingly! He lived with us out of choice. This manner of love is beyond words.   

And for Jesus, it wasn’t just about going to the cross. His compassion is what led Him to heal the sick and free those under demonic oppression. Because of His great love, He wanted perfect wholeness in people’s bodies and souls. 

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” 
Matthew 14:14 NIV 

I feel like God’s promised healing (and the end of this season) is round the corner; though I could be wrong! Right or wrong, I am trusting God to give me the courage – and faith – to be more like Jesus. To show compassion by always praying for those who are unwell in their bodies or minds.

May the Lord help me!