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Boot Camp

As I navigate this season of caring for a sick parent, waiting while holding onto God’s promise of healing, I am learning that this chapter isn’t so much about the “soon-going-to-be-well” parent, but about God working in me. 

One of the things He has been working in me is the capacity for compassion at a much deeper level. When I encounter someone with a loved one who is unwell, or a person who themselves is unwell, I am filled with a deep-seated concern for their wellbeing and a desire to do something to help. That’s because I can relate to the anguish caused by caring for a sick loved one. Most often it is a brief prayer together, a call, or message to say I’m thinking of them. I find I can now empathise on a whole new scale. 

I’m aware that this is the Holy Spirit at work in me – softening my heart – so He can use me. A spiritual boot camp of sorts.

Many things about Jesus are hitting home in a new way. Here are a couple: 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” 
Hebrews 4:15 NIV
“For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” 
Hebrews 2:17 NIV

Jesus came to live among us so that He could experience life as we do, and in this way be perfectly able to represent us and intercede for us before the Father. 

Now, before you go thinking that I’m anything like Jesus . . . I have not gained this increased capacity for compassion and empathy out of choice. The Lord has taken me through this season with me often kicking and screaming. I’ve been a reluctant student for the most part. But Jesus took on humanity willingly! He lived with us out of choice. This manner of love is beyond words.   

And for Jesus, it wasn’t just about going to the cross. His compassion is what led Him to heal the sick and free those under demonic oppression. Because of His great love, He wanted perfect wholeness in people’s bodies and souls. 

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” 
Matthew 14:14 NIV 

I feel like God’s promised healing (and the end of this season) is round the corner; though I could be wrong! Right or wrong, I am trusting God to give me the courage – and faith – to be more like Jesus. To show compassion by always praying for those who are unwell in their bodies or minds.

May the Lord help me! 

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Flawless

This month I’ve been reflecting on a portion of Psalm 139. I recently read the Psalm and noticed something I hadn’t seen before . . . despite this being one of my favourite Psalms!

In verses 13 and 15, it seemed to me like God was saying that He had made both my soul (created my inmost being) and my body (knit my frame) fearfully and wonderfully.

There was a time when I wished I was more outgoing and social, but that’s now in the past. However, I often look at my body and wish I was more shapely. Can you relate? Reading that my soul/personality and my body shape are wonderfully made . . . God crafted both . . . this gave me food for thought.

My personality is exactly what God wanted me to have so I could fulfil His purpose for me. Perhaps I could stretch it and say that my body shape is also part of me fulfilling all the plans God wrote concerning me in His book. This came as a shocker to me, and I must say it’s made me really re-think my view of what body shape I’d rather have. I’m having to un-do years (nay, decades!) of feeling like I got the short end of the stick when God was distributing shapely bodies!

How am I doing this?

Every morning and every night I look into the mirror and tell myself that my body and my soul/personality are fearfully and wonderfully made; specially crafted by God to enable me fulfil His mission for me on earth!

No wonder it says in Song of Songs that, 

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you."     
Song of Songs 4:7 NIV

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Maturing Beautifully

This past weekend I was texting with my 8-year-old niece. It has been a while since I had chatted with her via text, so I was pleasantly surprised to “hear” her sounding so much more mature. She started by apologising that she wasn’t at home the last time I visited. Then she proceeded to tell me where she was, and why she was there. Then she said she arrived soon after I left and asked me when I’d be back. She sounded so grown up, caring, and considerate! I must say I was impressed. And felt delighted to see her personality shine through in such a beautiful way.

Which got me thinking about how God sees us, His children. Is He delighted when He sees us mature and become more like Jesus? Does He smile when we speak with Him in prayer and He notices that we are growing more in love and the fruit of the Holy Spirit? I certainly think so!

I pray that the Holy Spirit will soften our hearts, so we are open to Him transforming us to be more mature believers . . . more like Jesus.

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He is at Work!  

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfil His good purpose.”                                               Philippians 2:13 NIV

Ever given thought to what this verse really means? Another version says “God brings forth the desire and effort.” This verse came to mind as I reflected on two conversations I had over the past two (consecutive) Fridays. These conversations revealed a new me that I was unaware existed. 

Friday One: I received a call asking me to re-send payment details for bank transfer I had done a month ago. This accountant was reconciling his books and couldn’t find the payment I made. I did as asked, then he called to say he still couldn’t find the payment. I confidently told him to check with their bank because the transaction had cleared on my end. Then, as we were speaking, I found myself saying that I too would check with my bank just to be sure. I wasn’t sure why I said that, because I had confirmed that the transaction was successful, but since I had said it, I had to check. And you know what? It turned out that the transaction was reversed into my account a day after the payment, and I missed this on my statement! So, while I was confident that I had made payment and the error must be on their end, it turned out that this wasn’t the case! I promptly called the accountant back and told him what had happened, and then I thanked God that He had kept me from being brash. 

Friday Two: A friend and I were chatting. She and I often have differing views on some aspects of how to live out our faith. On this day, our conversation veered in the direction of one of our differences. As she shared her view on a certain matter, I was surprised to find that I was unusually open to hearing and considering her view. This is in contrast to the usual <silent> opposition that would be in my heart. When I got home, I looked up a verse that we had discussed, and it ended up being that the Lord was pointing me to the part B of this verse—the part she and I didn’t discuss. I let my friend know that she was right, and again thanked God for using her to pass on a word from Him. 

On Friday One, I took note that my heart’s disposition had shifted—softened a bit—but didn’t dwell on it much. So on Friday Two I took time to compare the two conversations. My conclusion was that without my knowledge, the Lord had been working a new level of humility in me. He had been working in me the ability to “consider others as better than myself” (Philippians 2:3). And, He made this change in me without my having to do anything! 

I am reminded that for as long as we are committed to spending time in God’s presence, He will be at work transforming us, and making us more Christ-like. 

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfil His good purpose.” Philippians 2:13 NIV

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Tender-loving Care 

A few days ago, I had a really bad day.  It was as though the day had conspired to serve me a healthy dose of frustration and annoyance! 

Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was exasperated. Actually, the more accurate thing to say is that I was extremely annoyed at God for allowing me to be on the receiving end of what I thought was undeserved.    

So at bedtime, I told the Lord that I could not believe He would let me have such a day, and for that reason I would not be saying my daily pre-bedtime prayer. (What irony to be talking to Him, while saying I will not pray!) It took a while to fall asleep, but I eventually did. 

Only for my sleep to disappear a couple of hours later! 

Now, I instantly knew that the Lord had woken me up so we could “discuss” the matter. But, I was still feeling let down by Him and was unwilling to discuss the day. After all, from where I stood, it was Him who had allowed so much to go south!  I told Him this was how I was feeling and that I wouldn’t be sitting up so we could have a chat. (For the record—I don’t recommend you do this!) 

Shortly after, I began to feel a soothing in my heart. The pain and anger I was feeling began to melt away. I knew what was happening because this is how the Lord responds whenever I go to Him asking Him to heal my emotions because someone has hurt me (and I don’t want to slip into resentment or bitterness).

A moment or so later, the anger and (pain of) betrayal I felt was gone. Totally lifted! 

And just like that—in the unlikeliest of situations—the Lord expressed His tender love and care towards me. What surprises me the most, however, is that He soothed my heart on a day that my anger was directed at Him, and that He did this without me asking.  

His act of tenderness has stayed with me and it brings two things to mind. First, is the description Jesus gave of our Father in heaven going in search of a lost sheep and carrying it in His arms when it is found (Luke 15:5–6). Second is the psalm that describes God’s compassion . . . 


“Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name . . . who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion . . . The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love . . . he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities . . . As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him . . . “ 
Psalm 103:4  NIV

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Of Grass and Flowers


There’s nothing more calming than walking through a shamba (field) with green grass and pretty flowers . . . I hope you agree! So I found it curious the other day when I stumbled across a verse that describes people as grass and flowers. 

“All men are like grass, and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.” 
Isa 40:6b NIV  


That we are like grass—here today and gone tomorrow—wasn’t new to me. What I found surprising is that we are as faithful as the flowers. Now it so happens that there’s a pretty flower at home that blooms on its own schedule. Sometimes it opens up, while other times it remains closed all day. One flower could be in bloom today, while the one right next to it remains closed. When it does open up though, it is so pretty that I could admire it all day. However, there doesn’t seem to be a sure pattern to indicate when it will open, or how long it will stay open.

Thinking of myself as being unfaithful—even with all the effort I put in towards seeking God—came as a bit of a shocker. You see, I very often forget that the effort I make to seek God and learn His ways does not make me righteous.  Only being covered by the blood of Jesus makes me righteous. My good acts or attempts to follow a set of rules cannot bring me anywhere close to God, because I would have to be perfect 100% of the time. An impossible feat! 

Relationship, not rules, is what gets me into God’s presence.  

Which makes me think how wonderful it is that God made a provision that allows us to approach Him in a way that is fitting of His stature as the Almighty, Holy God! Without Jesus as our Way, there is absolutely no other way we could ever come anywhere close to God. 

Today then I’m reminded to say, “Thank You, Jesus, for making a way for me to have a relationship with a holy God!” 

“But God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 
Romans 5:8 NIV


Perhaps every time we walk by a flower it should serve as a reminder to give thanks for Jesus’s precious gift to us . . . 

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Grasshoppers

I know a person or two who are terrified of grasshoppers. Do you? Much as I would like to laugh at them, I don’t because I too go into flight mode—not the phone feature—when I see certain (harmless!) creepy crawlies.

Now, the other day a verse came to mind and I looked it up because I remembered only a portion of it. The verse said,

"He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
    and its people are like grasshoppers."
Isaiah 40:22 NIV

My initial thought was to remember how I sometimes squish dudus (bugs) for no reason other than because I can. As you can imagine, seeing this verse made me view God through my own actions towards dudus, and I was left feeling extremely discouraged! The Lord in His mercy turned my attention to Job—chapters 38 and 39—where I read that the animals we consider strong and dangerously powerful beg God for mercy. And not just that, but also that these mighty animals ask God to allow them to be His slave! Isn’t it amazing to know that these huge and powerful animals acknowledge God’s might!

Somehow, reading about God’s power through these chapters in Job encouraged me. I understood that God is Almighty, all powerful and sovereign over all creation. He uses His power for good (e.g. setting the earth’s dimensions so it can sustain life, or giving food to the ravens). I also understood that unlike me, God does not squish His creation pointlessly—like I do with dudus. He instead gently cares for all His creation, and directs everything in the way it should go.

I now realise that it is beyond my ability to comprehend the extent of His power! And, that unlike God, I am in not in in control of anything.

Everything is possible for Him. So, I shouldn’t limit Him by saying “safe” or “small” prayers. Also, because He is so much more powerful than I can imagine, everything about me is small in comparison to Him. Therefore, to Him there is no big or small prayer . . . they’re all small! Which is all the more reason why I should pray about everything.

And . . . if I know He has the power to do anything and everything, then I should have faith that He is able to do what I have asked. Especially when what I have asked seems impossible.

At the moment I must confess that this is head-knowledge for me, and my current prayer is for Him to turn it into experiential knowledge.

Lord, I believe all things are possible for You. Help me overcome unbelief!

 

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Am I the Cause?

Comea long today as I share a thought on matters work etiquette.

But first, I’ll start by saying that before my recent career change, I worked in the area of customer satisfaction. Not the popular practise where businesses call to find out your experience post-purchase, but rather where companies internally strive to sell only what will satisfy their customers. Being proactive about customer satisfaction is what I’ve worked on for close to two decades. 

Naturally, even though I’ve changed career, my attention is quickly drawn towards matters customer satisfaction. And I’ve been increasingly noticing something peculiar about us as a culture. I’ve observed that we are primarily interested in the money we will collect during a transaction, and less interested in the other end of the transaction —where we give the customer what they’re paying for. What’s more, this attitude seems to cut across all sectors. The landlord/agent is interested in collecting rent & deposit, and not so much in making sure they’re handing over a functional house. The car-wash guy wants to collect his pay, with little care for how thorough the cleaning is. The investment company is quick to take your cash, but works at snail’s pace when it is time to give the money back. The food vendor is happy to receive your money, with little concern for the safety of the food they’re serving. Then there’s the tailor . . . there are endless examples! I used to think that as a society we lacked awareness on matters quality and customer satisfaction. However, I now view this as a greed problem. 

That’s a strong assertion, I know. But hear me out.

You see, when I read Romans 1:21–32, I can’t help but wonder whether you and I are the cause for the economic and political state we find ourselves in as a country. My take-out from these verses is that whenever our hearts are repeatedly rebellious towards God, then God “gives us over” to be oppressed by the very thing that we are choosing instead of Him.  

Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.
Romans 1:28–31 NIV


I cannot help but wonder if Paul had this in mind as he wrote the above:

“But my people would not listen to me;
    Israel would not submit to me.
So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts
    to follow their own devices.”
Psalm 81:11–12 NIV


Could God have given us over to economic hardship because of our love for money? Could the chaos/protests we are witnessing be an indicator of our disregard for law and order, or our impunity? Could God have given us over to our penchant for shortcuts by allowing us to be consumers of sub-standard goods? These are the questions on my mind today. More importantly, how have I contributed to the situation? 


Very often we hear that if we fast and pray then God will forgive us and heal our land. What I rarely hear mentioned is the part of 2 Chronicles 7:14 where we turn from our wicked ways. God incorporates us changing the wrong actions that are causing us to be oppressed. Without a turnaround in behaviour, we should expect more of what is currently going on. 


I can certainly see how I could do better when God brings the next tenant . . . things to make them comfortable. How about you? Might any of your actions have contributed to God punishing the nation by letting us have our own way? These are weighty matters and deserve serious soul-searching and a commitment to do right.

God promises in Psalm 81:13–14 that when we return to His ways, He will quickly subdue our enemies.

It is definitely worth giving thought to what changes you need to make . . . 

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What Will I Choose?

Happy New Month! 

What was your June like? 

My month was hard, but it ended well.  

It was hard because the situation—the one that’s got me on an emotional rollercoaster—continues to be a source of many tears. However, the final week of the month brought a valuable lesson.

You see, before June, I had said every prayer and confessed every sin I could think of. Yet not a thing changed. There was no materialisation of the word I received from God. (If you’re wondering what this “situation” is, check out a few of the previous posts)

So I came to the conclusion that there must be a mega sin in my life that I’m unaware of, and this sin is “blocking” my prayers, and keeping God from listening to me.

It was around this time that I distinctly heard the Lord say to me, “My ear is attentive to your cry.” 

This word brought me comfort for a day or so, but when nothing changed (again!) I began to question why God would say He is listening, but still do nothing. 

Then, through a friend, the Lord sent me this verse: 

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 
James 1:4 NIV

And it was then that I understood I was in training. The delay wasn’t about a mega sin, but about God maturing my faith. Now, you’d think that understanding what was happening would settle the matter for me, but nah! I was soon back to tears. 

But God, in His infinite goodness, has shown me that I am impatient. I do not want to persevere. I want to have Him give me instant relief . . . to resolve issues immediately.

Yet, just as physical growth takes time, spiritual growth doesn’t happen instantly either. It too, takes time. Plus, the only way to mature my faith is to patiently persevere through discomfort, because I have faith that God will end the discomfort. Then, when I face similar situations in the future, I can relax because I have experience in trusting God to bring me through the discomfort. The post Through, Not Around makes so much more sense for me now!  

As I write this, the Lord has brought to mind a verse which presents me with a choice:

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” 
Romas 12:12 NIV

The choice? Keep crying and feeling abandoned. Or, stay hopeful—actively trusting—because I know God will bring this season to an end. And, I suppose the longer it takes me to make the right choice, the longer I remain in this “bootcamp.”  

What is absolutely certain to me is that I cannot persevere, be joyful, or hopeful in my own strength. Even now as I write, I can feel impatience nudging me to ask for this to be over. 

“Lord Jesus, set me free from impatience! Help me to persevere, to be joyful, and fully trust You.“

Do you need to say this prayer with me?

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Good. Perfect.

Previously, I shared some of what’s been going on . .   around me, that is. Today I’d like to share some of what has been going on in my heart. 

By now you know that songs are my go-to when I need encouragement. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised to hear that the song I have on repeat isn’t a hymn! 😃 I’m listening to Sinach’s “Final Word.” It’s the first time I’ve listened to it and I love it! 

But what does “Final Word” have to do with where my heart is at the moment? 

To answer this, I’d have to take you back about a decade ago, when a friend gave me a cute Bible as a gift. To make the gift extra special, she wrote her favourite verse below my name. I excitedly turned to the verse and my excitement quickly faded and gave way to disappointment. You see, the verse was Psalm 115:3 which says,

“Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.“

My outlook dimmed because the thought that God does what He wants was the least comforting thing for me to hear. Due to the depth of pain from my childhood, and seemingly endless waiting for many prayers to be answered, it felt as though God’s will was to cause me pain. To make life as difficult for me as possible. I don’t know if you can relate. 

Needless to say, I made sure not to look at the “special verse” again!

And that’s generally been my attitude regarding God’s will until yesterday. Which is when I heard a sermon that linked Psalm 115:3 to a verse I love in the book of Romans. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 
Romans 12:2 NIV

During the sermon, it instantly clicked that what God is pleased to do is always what is good for me; what will bring perfection in me. Even when it doesn’t seem glaringly obvious. So take for instance my current situation where I am waiting on God to fulfil His word to both heal and save my dad . . . what I see at present has me strongly discouraged, but despite the emotional rollercoaster, I can be confident that if this is God’s will, then this is what is good for me at the moment. God is not out to punish me. He wants what is good for me. (Though I deeply yearn for Him to act quicker!) 

And, if the only reason that I’m having to go through this emotional rollercoaster is so I can come to this place — where I don’t see God as out to cause me pain, but rather view Him as a loving God who wants the absolute best for me — then the many tears and sleepless nights will be worth it. (Much as I really don’t like or enjoy this rollercoaster.)

So, as Sinach sings, “everything You do is good. You are God alone.” 

I suppose what’s actually unfolding in me is a step away from fear, and deeper into the knowledge of God’s love. 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  
1 John 4:18 NIV

Finally, I must say I do not think this renewal of my mind would have happened if I had not accepted the Lord’s Triple the Word challenge. 

Glory be to God for the work He is doing, through His word, to transform me!