Month: August 2026

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Come Back Here, You!!

There is a time when the vet came by to see our cat. And cats . . . you know how smart they can be . . . she instantly knew that this wasn’t a visitor to be friendly with. What did she do? She hid somewhere we could’t reach! The vet figured out a way to get into her hiding place and she quickly dashed away. The thirty or so minutes that followed consisted of the vet and cat playing hide and seek. Every time the vet got close to catching her, she would scurry off again! 

Her scurrying about reminded me of a time when my mind was like the cat. Whenever someone got into a long conversation with me, my thoughts would zoom off into all directions, except in the direction of that particular conversation. I could tell it was happening, but I had a knack for being able to track both my thoughts and the conversation so I did nothing to rein in my thoughts.

That is until one day my younger sister called me out. She said she knew that I don’t really pay attention when she speaks. Then she added that what frustrated her is not that I don’t listen, but that I’m somehow able to repeat what she was saying, even though she knew I wasn’t being attentive. The wounded look on her made me want to fix my behaviour because I didn’t want to continue hurting her. 

This conversation with her began my attempts to rein in my mind. I had to practise telling my thoughts to come back to the conversation. Over and over until I became a more present listener. 

That is until recently when I began to notice that while I’m present with people, I was not present when reading the Bible. Sometimes I’d read a verse and would not be able to remember what it was about. I was reading, but my mind was all over the place. Thinking about all sorts of things. Often they would be things that I am trying to figure out.

You see, I’m in the most challenging season I have ever gone through. I have assurance that God will get me through (you can read a bit more here) but it is taking way longer than I thought it would. So I find that anxiety is attempting to settle in. While I read the Bible, my eyes are on the words, but my mind is going through all the things that I need to do, or all the things I’m afraid will not work out. My mind replays scenarios of how certain matters might play out. Other times, my mind is searching through my past to identify the big sin I committed to deserve being in this season.

Last week I remembered my experience with my sister and identified that I was doing the same thing to the Lord. Physically present, but mentally absent. How hurt God must be . . . even now, just thinking about how I have wounded Him brings tears to my eyes. 

So I have to again get myself into the habit of telling my thoughts, “Come back here, you!” while asking the Lord for help at the same time. 

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 
1 Peter 5:7 NIV
“Cast your cares on the Lord
    and he will sustain you;
he will never let
    the righteous be shaken.” 
Psalm 55:22 NIV

Come back here, you! The Lord is in control. 

❤️ PHL

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Conformed or Transformed?

A couple of days ago, my friend and I were having a laugh about the grass always seeming greener on the other side of the fence. You see, she’s married and wishes she were single. I am single and want to be married! How perplexing!  

Even though I’m single at 43, I almost got married a decade ago. The key word is almost. Why? How? Why? 

Well, the brief version is that we were incompatible. Mismatched. Unsuited.  

The longer version is that the guy and his family came home for what is the first visit in our cultural marriage process. My parents, family, and some friends were there to witness the joyous occasion. He and I had been dating for a while, and this was the expected next step. The night before, however, I found myself crying and feeling sad as I thought about the following day’s ceremony. You see, deep down, I knew that we were not a good match. I had asked him every possible question to gauge his opinion on issues that were important for me. Not once did he and I have the same stand on what mattered to me. Not once! Despite this, I continued dating him in the hope that he would change his mind or come around to my way of thinking’. Being in my early 30s, I believed that this was my final chance to get married. I thought that if I let this opportunity slip, I would be too old for anyone to ever consider me. How naive I was a decade ago! 

So back to the day before his family came for a visit. I knew I was highly likely making a mistake. However, the parents were now involved, and I couldn’t very well change my mind at that point. If I did, I would bring shame on my family and make me look like an outright idiot! If you know anything about African culture, you know that bringing shame to the family is a ‘no-no.’ Remember Miss goody-two-shoes? (Read it here) Well, she could not imagine being the one to set such a bad example for her younger siblings and cousins; or embarrass her parents. So, I did the sensible thing and chose to soldier on, with the intention of getting out of the marriage when things got worse. After I had a baby; of course! 

See how the devil’s lies can sound so reasonable? 

That’s why Romans 12:2 says we shouldn’t conform to the world’s patterns. 

Look out for Part two . . . 

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The Minister and the Doorman

In the 1980’s, my sister and I had the privilege of being the cutely dressed little girls who give flowers to the guest of honour at a government function. In those days it was quite common . . . perhaps even expected by the politicians! So, this one time, my sister and I were giving flowers to a certain well-known cabinet minister. Actually, in the 80’s, all cabinet ministers were well known! But I digress. Unexpectedly, the then Vice-President showed up at the function unannounced. Because there was only one set of flowers, we did an adorable curtsy, and said hello to him; with the flowers out of sight! To my surprise, the Vice-President was quite pleasant to us. He took time to say hello and engage us in a brief conversation before entering the room.

Shortly after, the cabinet minister who was guest of honour showed up. We put on our most charming smiles and presented the bouquet to him. To my surprise, he made no eye contact with us, took the flowers and without glancing at them, passed them on to his aide. Then he kept walking and talking to whoever he was with. Given the Vice-President’s warm acknowledgement, I was upset by this minister’s lack of warmth. As in, he didn’t think we were important enough for him to say hello to!

Fast-forward to a workshop I attended recently. We were given a task that involved reading James 2:1—12.  This is how the passage begins:

“My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favouritism.”

James 2:1 NIV

As soon as I read this, I remembered the 1980s incident. I also had a flash back to earlier that morning when I arrived at the workshop venue. I was driving behind a new, flashy, pearl white Mercedes Benz. Without describing my car (which I happen to love) . . . let’s just say it is nothing like the Benz that was ahead of me 😊. So, I was quite surprised when the hotel doorman directed me to park my car under an attractive car shade while he allowed the Benz to squeeze itself out in the open, under a tree. Now, next to my car were exquisitely engineered cars. Quite unlike my car.  Similarly, the Benz was out of place where it was. The treatment I received from the doorman was very uncommon for me!

See, I live in a culture that seems to attach people’s worth to their wealth. The more wealth you have, or even appear to have, the more respectably people treat you. Sadly, this happens even with ushers at church, at family get-togethers or even in schools. 

The passage in James goes on to say,

“Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

James 2:2-4 NIV

I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of discriminating against people; based on their looks. Sometimes I find myself clutching my bag a little tighter when a less-affluently-dressed person comes close to me. Or flashing a brighter smile to the person who looks like a million dollars. What’s worse, is I don’t have to think about it; it just happens. Almost as though it is engrained in my DNA to act that way.  Which is terrible!  Especially when I consider what else it says in James . . .

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbour as yourself,” you are doing right.  But if you show favouritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.”  

James 2:8-9 NIV

I am now aware that I can be like that cabinet minister — making people feel unworthy, rejected and shunned. Or, like the doorman, I can make people feel valued, welcome and appreciated; no matter how they look, dress, speak, where they live, or what they drive. 

The choice is in my hands!

We should see people through God’s eyes — precious, worthy, accepted, and loved. Loved enough for Jesus to die for their sins. We should treat all people well so that those around us begin to see a difference in the way we live. Then, it becomes easier to introduce them to Jesus! 

Pray with me . . . “Lord, help me to love like Jesus.”    

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Tender-loving Care 

A few days ago, I had a really bad day.  It was as though the day had conspired to serve me a healthy dose of frustration and annoyance! 

Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was exasperated. Actually, the more accurate thing to say is that I was extremely annoyed at God for allowing me to be on the receiving end of what I thought was undeserved.    

So at bedtime, I told the Lord that I could not believe He would let me have such a day, and for that reason I would not be saying my daily pre-bedtime prayer. (What irony to be talking to Him, while saying I will not pray!) It took a while to fall asleep, but I eventually did. 

Only for my sleep to disappear a couple of hours later! 

Now, I instantly knew that the Lord had woken me up so we could “discuss” the matter. But, I was still feeling let down by Him and was unwilling to discuss the day. After all, from where I stood, it was Him who had allowed so much to go south!  I told Him this was how I was feeling and that I wouldn’t be sitting up so we could have a chat. (For the record—I don’t recommend you do this!) 

Shortly after, I began to feel a soothing in my heart. The pain and anger I was feeling began to melt away. I knew what was happening because this is how the Lord responds whenever I go to Him asking Him to heal my emotions because someone has hurt me (and I don’t want to slip into resentment or bitterness).

A moment or so later, the anger and (pain of) betrayal I felt was gone. Totally lifted! 

And just like that—in the unlikeliest of situations—the Lord expressed His tender love and care towards me. What surprises me the most, however, is that He soothed my heart on a day that my anger was directed at Him, and that He did this without me asking.  

His act of tenderness has stayed with me and it brings two things to mind. First, is the description Jesus gave of our Father in heaven going in search of a lost sheep and carrying it in His arms when it is found (Luke 15:5–6). Second is the psalm that describes God’s compassion . . . 


“Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name . . . who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion . . . The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love . . . he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities . . . As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him . . . “ 
Psalm 103:4  NIV