Tag: #Faith

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Blameless!

Today I’d like to write about a matter that’s very dear to my heart. 

If you’ve read this post, you’ll know that somewhere in my past, I cancelled a wedding. My wedding, that is! What you don’t know is that I haven’t dated anyone since. Initially I was so excited about the Lord saving me from getting into a marriage that would cause me grief, that I didn’t care about dating again. I was happy to wait for the Lord to bring the right guy, at the right time. Then the years turned into a decade, and I began to despair.  If you’re African, you know the value that our society places on having children and keeping the family name going. You might even have an aunty (or more!) who talk to you incessantly about having children!

Well … now that I’m getting closer to 50, nobody asks about children any more. To them, it’s too late, so they don’t bother! Which, when I think about it, is good since I despair enough on my own and certainly have no need for external sources of despair on the matter. But what comes along with the despair that many are unaware of, is the shame of being single and childless at this age. Our society can be harsh and unforgiving toward people in my situation. If I were to measure the weight of the shame I (and others) carry, it would break the scale. 

With the shame comes questions ranging from “what’s wrong with me that I’m single and childless?” to “what sin is God punishing me for?” Once in a while, the question “am I under a generational curse?” also pops up. 

On the flip side, I ask myself … if the Lord were to give me children now, would I have the energy to raise them? Wouldn’t having children at this age bring more shame because I’m having children when my peers are having grandchildren? As you can see, the word “shame” appears a lot. I suppose that’s part of our African context and culture. 

But recently I was reading the Bible and saw something that I’d not noticed before: 

“In the time of Herod king of Judea there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly division of Abijah; his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron.  Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly.  But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old  
Luke 1:5—7 (NIV)

Did you see it? Elizabeth and Zechariah were old, and childless, but blameless in God’s sight! For me, that totally nullified the “what sin is God punishing me for?” or “generational curses” questions. These verses have provided great comfort and encouragement since! 

I still have days when I wish my life was different in regard to having a husband and children, but then I also know that to follow Jesus means that like Him, I have to be willing to carry my cross. And if this — keeping my body pure — is the cross I have to carry as I follow Jesus, then so be it! 

So to all the single ladies out there who are staying pure for Jesus’s sake, may God give you the strength and joy to keep going. To all the married ladies who are staying faithful to their husbands by not having a child with another man and passing this child off as his, may God richly bless you! Lastly, to all the husbands, who like Zechariah remain committed to their wives despite having no children, may God show Himself faithful and hear your prayers! 

No matter what your situation, stay close to Jesus because in Him you are blameless!

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New Actions

This is part three of a previous post. Catch up with part 1 and part 2 before you dive into this.

Knowing that the Lord was waiting on me, I decided to take action and do two things differently. 

First, rather than pray “please end this and take me back home,” I will instead ask for strength to go through the challenge. 

Second, I will spend 30min every morning praying and meditating on Ephesians 3:16, asking for His strength. My desire is that the Lord would strengthen me with power so Jesus will dwell firmly in my heart, and so I will know with all my heart that God loves me. 

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

Ephesians 3:16-18 (NIV)

Then, when I am confident in God’s love for me, and in no doubt that He has my back no matter what, I can stop being like a pendulum. I can be relaxed like Jesus was when He slept through the stormy boat ride. 

The strength and power I need can only come from the Holy Spirit. I cannot ‘empower’ myself. So, in my 30minutes I am expectant that as I silently sit with the Lord, He will strengthen me. 

Today marks day one of these two new actions and I’m excitedly looking forward to the new thing the Lord does in me, and through me.

Pray for me, won’t you? Or, if like me you need new strength, please join me in taking these new actions!  

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Through, Not Around


This is part two of the previous post. If you haven’t already read it, please start here.

Another thing going on is that being here has got my emotions all over the place because of certain challenges I face with my relative. This is despite the Lord showing me two years ago – before there was a problem – that everything would go well. Of course I did not understand the vision then, but now I do. So, I already have assurance that things will work out and end well. But I’ve found myself wavering between holding onto this hope and being overcome by doubt. Somewhat like a pendulum swinging left to right, high then low. 

Even with the faith booster from my extra Bible reading, my thoughts still venture into the realm of doubt and despair. I can’t tell you how many times I have cried out to the Lord to take me back home! Why? Because I know He already intends to heal and save this relative, and He has the power to do so in an instant. There’s no need for Him to wait to do what He is able and willing to do! 

Which is why I’ve been asking Him “what are You waiting for?” Then yesterday it clicked . . . He is waiting for me to stop being a pendulum; He is standing by until I am “strong, firm, and steadfast.” The Lord doesn’t want me to take a shortcut that avoids this situation, but rather to go through it, with Him by my side, and come out stronger. 

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast

1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

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Triple The Word

Since my last post, I have had to relocate to a different town to support a relative. What I thought would be a 2-week stay has turned into 6-weeks, with no sign of my return home in sight. In these six weeks I have learnt a few lessons I would like to share.

Initially, I thought I was here to help my relative. However, one week into my stay I discovered the Lord has me here so He can separate me from my every-day tasks. Why? So I can spend extra time with Him. I’ve sensed Him guide me into tripling the time I spend reading my Bible. Yup! You heard right . . . tripling!

And you know what’s odd . . . about six months ago a friend invited me to a Bible study that I thought covered way too many chapters per day. I told her it wasn’t possible for me to fit in that many chapters into my day and politely declined to join. Well . . . that’s exactly the number of chapters I now find myself reading! Ha! I guess you could say the Lord helped me “create” the time. Doesn’t the Lord have a great sense of humour?

While at the start it seemed like a lot of reading, I have experienced how reading the Bible has a way of increasing my faith. I can’t quite explain how, but it certainly brings to life the verse about faith coming as a result of hearing the word.

Now, if like me, you find yourself in a situation where you need to turbo charge your faith, I recommend you spend more time reading your Bible.

Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.

Romans 10:17 (NIV)

I’m grateful for this first lesson. And praying for grace to maintain this new reading pattern in the days & years to come.

Be sure to look out for lesson two!

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On My Side

Back in the 1980s, we had a much-loved auntie who lived in a small town on the edge of the Rift Valley. To reach her on phone, we had to first dial a number that connected us to the national telephone operator, then give the operator her number, and ask to be connected to her. We could only speak to her when the operator put us through. #IYKYK

In those days, when the (fixed) house phone rang, you answered it because you didn’t know who was calling or whether they had an urgent message for you. Today, we have mobile phones which show us who is calling, so we have the option to choose to answer (or not). And we are even able to ask them to send us a text so we can gauge how urgent the call is. How far the telephone has come since the 80s!  

These days when I call a friend and she doesn’t pick up, there’s a tendency for me to wonder why she isn’t answering her phone. I quietly wonder, ‘what could she be doing?’ And that can spiral downwards really quick to ‘why is she ignoring me? Have I done something wrong?’

Sometimes this attitude spills over into my conversations with God. If it takes a while to see answers to a prayer, I wonder if I’ve done anything wrong. Or question why He is ignoring me. This is one of the areas that the Lord has been working on, in me. He’s been teaching me that He always hears when I pray, He always answers, and His presence is always with me. He is teaching me to be confident in His love for me. Because at the root of me thinking He is ignoring me, is a lack of faith that He loves me and a fear that I’m on my own.

One of the verses He has used to increase my confidence in His love is . . .

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Through this verse I’m learning to remind myself that He is always at work when I invite Him to a situation. I am learning to trust that no matter how things look, or how long it takes to see answers to my prayers, that He is with me, and He is on my side.

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Wait Joyfully!

This morning, our kitten showed signs of a leg injury. My five-going-on-twelve niece caught me looking at the cat sympathetically as she limped across the floor. The little girl interpreted my sympathetic look as sadness on my part. Next, she asked me in a very matter-of-fact way why I was unhappy, yet I knew that the vet was on his way. She was adamant that me knowing the kitten would be attended to, was reason enough for me to be happy even before the vet arrived.  

I quietly smiled to myself in amazement at how the Lord had used a 5-year-old to demonstrate a lesson for me. See, I’m currently studying what the Bible says about hope and what it means for me practically. What I’ve learnt so far is that hope is a confident expectation that God will keep His promises. For this reason, hope involves waiting for the promise to come to pass. You know like Abraham and Sarah waited for a son . . .

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.

Romans 4:18 NIV

I’ve also learnt that hope is closely intertwined with faith. How, you ask? Well, faith is being convinced that God is almighty, trustworthy, good and full of love for us. When you and I are absolutely certain of His character (faith), then we can wait in confidence (hope).

Sometimes the wait is so long that your insides start to feel all knotted up. Yet even though you don’t know when, you know the promise will definitely come to pass. Hence you are able to keep a positive attitude while you wait. That is why faith is described as . . . 

. . . confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1 NIV

Are you, like me, waiting on God to fulfil a promise? Let us look back on our own lives, or to the Bible, and be reminded that God is faithful, and He keeps His promises. Therefore, we can wait joyfully, and like Israel, say: 

“Look, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he has saved us. This is the Lord; we have waited for him. Let’s rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

Isaiah 25:9 CSB

By waiting joyfully, we can draw others to Jesus as they marvel at our attitude.

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Over the Hurdle

If you watch athletics, then you know that Kenya is famous for winning steeplechase, aka water-and-hurdle races. Now, though I neither have the ability nor the desire to run, I thought I should write about hurdles instead. And this is how my most recent interaction with hurdles went:

It was a few days ago. I called a friend with whom I normally enjoy a good laugh. This time though, her tone of voice told me all was not well. 

It turns out she needed her passport renewed so she could travel for an emergency, but the immigration officers were being ‘unhelpful.’ If you’re from these parts, you know that ‘unhelpful’ can quickly turn to ‘helpful’ when your purse shows up. She was neither willing nor able to pull out her purse, hence her disheartenment. And she didn’t have friends in high places either. 

After sensing her frustration was getting out of hand, she left to get a cup of tea and recollect her thoughts. It was at this point that I called. We chatted and prayed before she went back to immigration.  

Later that evening we spoke, and she said she had again faced the same hurdle, but unlike before, this time she was able to lodge her renewal application and told to return in 2 days.  We spent the 2days praying for God’s favour. Bright and early on day 3, she sent a cheery message saying her new passport was safely in her hand! 

As she and I join together in thanking God, I’m reminded that I shouldn’t despair, or seek friends in high places when there is a hurdle before me. Like our athletes approach the hurdles without fear, I should see the hurdle as something to be overcome. How? By going to God in prayer because He is all-mighty and all-powerful. He is able to get me over the hurdle. Just as He says in Isaiah,

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 NIV
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A Most Unlikely Teacher

Yesterday, I planted my first flower. Yes, yes, it’s okay to be surprised that this 1970-something born girl hasn’t planted anything before. I am a city kid and paid no attention whatsoever to any agriculture/farming lessons in school. So much so that, when I got to Form 1 and we were allowed to drop subjects, it was absolutely clear that agriculture would be the first subject to go!

Now that I am older (and wiser), I am reconsidering my attitude towards farming and gardening. Hence, the flower was my first attempt to learn a new skill. As I covered up the roots with soil, I found myself harbouring an unexpected thought. You see, my intention was to prepare the area for planting, set the flower in place, restore the area with soil, clean my hands and continue with my day. But this unforeseen thought took my mind hostage. I found myself feeling some sort of connection to the plant and wanting to see it thrive. I admit, part of this feeling was so I could say my attempt at gardening was successful. However, I also genuinely wanted to see the plant develop well.

As I often do, I shared this thought with the Lord; asking Him to let the plant grow well. At which point I sensed the Lord say to me, “If you care for the welfare of this plant, how much more do I, Your Creator, care about your well-being, my child?”

At that instant, a portion of Matthew 6 flashed through my mind:

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you— you of little faith?

Matthew 6:28-30 NIV

See, I’m currently in a season where the business environment isn’t as healthy as it could be (thanks to the post-COVID-19 effects). Many companies have been forced to scrap their training budget, which means there is less work available for me. So, there have been moments when I’ve been anxious about provision. See why the Lord used my initial attempt at gardening to teach me a lesson? He sure doesn’t waste any opportunities!

And, while I am trusting Him to provide for me, I should simply do what the well known Sunday School song taught us – “Why worry, when you can pray . . . ”

(Sing along with me, won’t you?)