A couple of days ago, my friend and I were having a laugh about the grass always seeming greener on the other side of the fence. You see, she’s married and wishes she were single. I am single and want to be married! How perplexing!
Even though I’m single at 43, I almost got married a decade ago. The key word is almost. Why? How? Why?
Well, the brief version is that we were incompatible. Mismatched. Unsuited.
The longer version is that the guy and his family came home for what is the first visit in our cultural marriage process. My parents, family, and some friends were there to witness the joyous occasion. He and I had been dating for a while, and this was the expected next step. The night before, however, I found myself crying and feeling sad as I thought about the following day’s ceremony. You see, deep down, I knew that we were not a good match. I had asked him every possible question to gauge his opinion on issues that were important for me. Not once did he and I have the same stand on what mattered to me. Not once! Despite this, I continued dating him in the hope that he would change his mind or come around to my way of thinking’. Being in my early 30s, I believed that this was my final chance to get married. I thought that if I let this opportunity slip, I would be too old for anyone to ever consider me. How naive I was a decade ago!
So back to the day before his family came for a visit. I knew I was highly likely making a mistake. However, the parents were now involved, and I couldn’t very well change my mind at that point. If I did, I would bring shame on my family and make me look like an outright idiot! If you know anything about African culture, you know that bringing shame to the family is a ‘no-no.’ Remember Miss goody-two-shoes? (Read it here) Well, she could not imagine being the one to set such a bad example for her younger siblings and cousins; or embarrass her parents. So, I did the sensible thing and chose to soldier on, with the intention of getting out of the marriage when things got worse. After I had a baby; of course!
See how the devil’s lies can sound so reasonable?
That’s why Romans 12:2 says we shouldn’t conform to the world’s patterns.
Look out for Part two . . .
Great reminder about the dangers of conformity to world’s standards. Enjoyed your wit and insight here. Thanks.
Thanks, Rachel.