Category: Love

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Boot Camp

As I navigate this season of caring for a sick parent, waiting while holding onto God’s promise of healing, I am learning that this chapter isn’t so much about the “soon-going-to-be-well” parent, but about God working in me. 

One of the things He has been working in me is the capacity for compassion at a much deeper level. When I encounter someone with a loved one who is unwell, or a person who themselves is unwell, I am filled with a deep-seated concern for their wellbeing and a desire to do something to help. That’s because I can relate to the anguish caused by caring for a sick loved one. Most often it is a brief prayer together, a call, or message to say I’m thinking of them. I find I can now empathise on a whole new scale. 

I’m aware that this is the Holy Spirit at work in me – softening my heart – so He can use me. A spiritual boot camp of sorts.

Many things about Jesus are hitting home in a new way. Here are a couple: 

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” 
Hebrews 4:15 NIV
“For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” 
Hebrews 2:17 NIV

Jesus came to live among us so that He could experience life as we do, and in this way be perfectly able to represent us and intercede for us before the Father. 

Now, before you go thinking that I’m anything like Jesus . . . I have not gained this increased capacity for compassion and empathy out of choice. The Lord has taken me through this season with me often kicking and screaming. I’ve been a reluctant student for the most part. But Jesus took on humanity willingly! He lived with us out of choice. This manner of love is beyond words.   

And for Jesus, it wasn’t just about going to the cross. His compassion is what led Him to heal the sick and free those under demonic oppression. Because of His great love, He wanted perfect wholeness in people’s bodies and souls. 

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” 
Matthew 14:14 NIV 

I feel like God’s promised healing (and the end of this season) is round the corner; though I could be wrong! Right or wrong, I am trusting God to give me the courage – and faith – to be more like Jesus. To show compassion by always praying for those who are unwell in their bodies or minds.

May the Lord help me! 

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Tender-loving Care 

A few days ago, I had a really bad day.  It was as though the day had conspired to serve me a healthy dose of frustration and annoyance! 

Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was exasperated. Actually, the more accurate thing to say is that I was extremely annoyed at God for allowing me to be on the receiving end of what I thought was undeserved.    

So at bedtime, I told the Lord that I could not believe He would let me have such a day, and for that reason I would not be saying my daily pre-bedtime prayer. (What irony to be talking to Him, while saying I will not pray!) It took a while to fall asleep, but I eventually did. 

Only for my sleep to disappear a couple of hours later! 

Now, I instantly knew that the Lord had woken me up so we could “discuss” the matter. But, I was still feeling let down by Him and was unwilling to discuss the day. After all, from where I stood, it was Him who had allowed so much to go south!  I told Him this was how I was feeling and that I wouldn’t be sitting up so we could have a chat. (For the record—I don’t recommend you do this!) 

Shortly after, I began to feel a soothing in my heart. The pain and anger I was feeling began to melt away. I knew what was happening because this is how the Lord responds whenever I go to Him asking Him to heal my emotions because someone has hurt me (and I don’t want to slip into resentment or bitterness).

A moment or so later, the anger and (pain of) betrayal I felt was gone. Totally lifted! 

And just like that—in the unlikeliest of situations—the Lord expressed His tender love and care towards me. What surprises me the most, however, is that He soothed my heart on a day that my anger was directed at Him, and that He did this without me asking.  

His act of tenderness has stayed with me and it brings two things to mind. First, is the description Jesus gave of our Father in heaven going in search of a lost sheep and carrying it in His arms when it is found (Luke 15:5–6). Second is the psalm that describes God’s compassion . . . 


“Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name . . . who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion . . . The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love . . . he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities . . . As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him . . . “ 
Psalm 103:4  NIV

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New Actions

This is part three of a previous post. Catch up with part 1 and part 2 before you dive into this.

Knowing that the Lord was waiting on me, I decided to take action and do two things differently. 

First, rather than pray “please end this and take me back home,” I will instead ask for strength to go through the challenge. 

Second, I will spend 30min every morning praying and meditating on Ephesians 3:16, asking for His strength. My desire is that the Lord would strengthen me with power so Jesus will dwell firmly in my heart, and so I will know with all my heart that God loves me. 

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

Ephesians 3:16-18 (NIV)

Then, when I am confident in God’s love for me, and in no doubt that He has my back no matter what, I can stop being like a pendulum. I can be relaxed like Jesus was when He slept through the stormy boat ride. 

The strength and power I need can only come from the Holy Spirit. I cannot ‘empower’ myself. So, in my 30minutes I am expectant that as I silently sit with the Lord, He will strengthen me. 

Today marks day one of these two new actions and I’m excitedly looking forward to the new thing the Lord does in me, and through me.

Pray for me, won’t you? Or, if like me you need new strength, please join me in taking these new actions!  

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A New Appreciation

Allow me to share my experience as I chatted with two fathers about their children.

The first father was visibly distressed about his child’s poor performance at school. I could actually see the pain on his face as he asked me to have a word with her. He shared that her grades had been steadily dropping since she joined high school. And the rate at which she was going, she was almost certainly going to fail her final year exams.  

The second father has a slightly older daughter. She completed her bachelor’s degree about four years ago and she has had trouble securing a job in her field of study. This father was sharing his plans for his daughter’s further education, and he was in despair because he did not have as much money as was required for a master’s program. I could hear the anguish in his voice when he shared this. 

As I’ve reflected on these two conversations, I have come to a new realisation about fathers. I reckon fathers are some of the most uncelebrated, unacknowledged people in our society. This is a new appreciation for me because I have seen firsthand the pain fathers have caused to many children (me included). But these two fathers, and my own dad (story for another day) have shown me up close that fathers are often misunderstood, and that they have a deep love for their children; even when they are unexpressive.  

Through these two fathers, I also have a fresh awareness of what our Father in heaven’s heart is towards us. Like the two fathers, our Father in heaven cares immensely about our wellbeing. He wants what is best for us and is grieved when we either go astray or do not experience His good plans for us. Through these two fathers, I can clearly see what the psalmist meant when He wrote,

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust. 
Psalm 103:13–14 NIV

So, take a moment to join me in thanking God for being our perfect Father in heaven, and asking Him to give society a new appreciation for fathers.

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The Minister and the Doorman

In the 1980’s, my sister and I had the privilege of being the cutely dressed little girls who give flowers to the guest of honour at a government function. In those days it was quite common . . . perhaps even expected by the politicians! So, this one time, my sister and I were giving flowers to a certain well-known cabinet minister. Actually, in the 80’s, all cabinet ministers were well known! But I digress. Unexpectedly, the then Vice-President showed up at the function unannounced. Because there was only one set of flowers, we did an adorable curtsy, and said hello to him; with the flowers out of sight! To my surprise, the Vice-President was quite pleasant to us. He took time to say hello and engage us in a brief conversation before entering the room.

Shortly after, the cabinet minister who was guest of honour showed up. We put on our most charming smiles and presented the bouquet to him. To my surprise, he made no eye contact with us, took the flowers and without glancing at them, passed them on to his aide. Then he kept walking and talking to whoever he was with. Given the Vice-President’s warm acknowledgement, I was upset by this minister’s lack of warmth. As in, he didn’t think we were important enough for him to say hello to!

Fast-forward to a workshop I attended recently. We were given a task that involved reading James 2:1—12.  This is how the passage begins:

“My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favouritism.”

James 2:1 NIV

As soon as I read this, I remembered the 1980s incident. I also had a flash back to earlier that morning when I arrived at the workshop venue. I was driving behind a new, flashy, pearl white Mercedes Benz. Without describing my car (which I happen to love) . . . let’s just say it is nothing like the Benz that was ahead of me 😊. So, I was quite surprised when the hotel doorman directed me to park my car under an attractive car shade while he allowed the Benz to squeeze itself out in the open, under a tree. Now, next to my car were exquisitely engineered cars. Quite unlike my car.  Similarly, the Benz was out of place where it was. The treatment I received from the doorman was very uncommon for me!

See, I live in a culture that seems to attach people’s worth to their wealth. The more wealth you have, or even appear to have, the more respectably people treat you. Sadly, this happens even with ushers at church, at family get-togethers or even in schools. 

The passage in James goes on to say,

“Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

James 2:2-4 NIV

I don’t know about you, but I am guilty of discriminating against people; based on their looks. Sometimes I find myself clutching my bag a little tighter when a less-affluently-dressed person comes close to me. Or flashing a brighter smile to the person who looks like a million dollars. What’s worse, is I don’t have to think about it; it just happens. Almost as though it is engrained in my DNA to act that way.  Which is terrible!  Especially when I consider what else it says in James . . .

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbour as yourself,” you are doing right.  But if you show favouritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.”  

James 2:8-9 NIV

I am now aware that I can be like that cabinet minister — making people feel unworthy, rejected and shunned. Or, like the doorman, I can make people feel valued, welcome and appreciated; no matter how they look, dress, speak, where they live, or what they drive. 

The choice is in my hands!

We should see people through God’s eyes — precious, worthy, accepted, and loved. Loved enough for Jesus to die for their sins. We should treat all people well so that those around us begin to see a difference in the way we live. Then, it becomes easier to introduce them to Jesus! 

Pray with me . . . “Lord, help me to love like Jesus.”